Anger is the most interesting of emotions we as humans have. Women, especially in the south, are raised that getting angry is rude. Men are raised to let there anger out through fighting. However, no where in our raising is it told to us that it's normal, and good to be angry. There wasn't really a time in your childhood where when you got angry, your parent said, allow yourself to be angry. Permission to be angry wasn't something readily given. Without the permission, anger usually was stifled, held in, kept on the down low, even felt guilty about. The one apology that I hear a lot that bothers me is, "I'm sorry I got angry" Why be sorry, it's your anger, your emotion, why do you have to be sorry you got angry? "Never apologize for your emotions", that is always my response.
What is the issue with anger is when people don't give themselves permission to be angry. When that happens, is when all the issues begin. People argue, fight, say things out of anger, hurt others, hurt themselves, all out of an emotion that is completely natural to have, but rarely accepted having. I have let my anger over power me many times in my life, and just this past couple of weeks it has been a struggle to remember, it's ok to be angry, I have every right to be angry, now, how can I use this anger to put my point out there to get what I need in a positive way.
The moment you take time to accept your anger, is when you can give yourself permission to be angry. Once you have given yourself that permission, your anger has been noticed, and you can finally sit back, and begin to understand the anger. Once you understand your anger, your mind is clear to proceed in fixing or leaving, or what ever you need to do to rectify the situation that mad you angry. All though anger is a normal emotion, anger is a warning that something that has happened to you is not working with you, and it must be corrected or left.
Remember, people do not wake up each morning thinking, "What can I do to piss so and so off today" Universe doesn't pick you out of a crowd just to make sure you are having a bad day. Anger, and becoming angry is YOUR reaction to the situation, not the situation reacting to you.
Mantra for understanding and accepting your anger ~ Kieran Nightstar
(repeat as often as needed, scream it, cry through it, squeeze a stress ball, grit your teeth. As you continue to repeat it, you will begin to become more clear in your anger, and move on from there)
I am anger
Anger is me
My anger is mine and mine to keep.
Anger is my teacher
The student I am
I open myself to lessons given from Anger's hand
This lesson is mine
A light on my path
What anger has shown me, is now my peaceful bath